He's always been faithful

I would describe myself as "very green" when it comes to pregnancy. Now, I have always said I could swing by labor and delivery, pick up a baby and be fine; in other words, the baby doesnt scare me in the least...... but this pregnancy deal is unchartered water.

Now, I am somewhat of a reader and researcher. It's sort of like, when books are my only tools to something that I know NOTHING about.... I just gather all of the information that I can to try and understand what I am going through. Not to the point of OCD, I do have Dr Peppers and dye my hair....BUT I have maybe 6 or 7 books on my bedside table right now. Subscribe to babycenter.com and ask a LOT of questions.

I mean, how do you even begin to prepare for this? "You can't" as my mother of 4 would say. And I know that... It's just a lot of prayer.

I've really never thought about the pregnancy... just about the baby. When I was 18 my Ob told me that I would have a slim to none chance of ever being able to conceive. Some of you may remember those devastating words. So as an adult, I just never put my eggs in that basket. (no pun intended). What's funny, is that Jason and I met our freshman year, and as friends- so he always knew that about me. Of course when we started dating, and could really see this headed in the direction of marriage... the children conversation was one that we had to have, but that we felt the same way about. When we married we were/are 100% on board with adoption. Still are- still will probably be a part of our lives at some point because we feel called to it.

So you can imagine my shock THANKSGIVING MORNING when we realized that this was not only a reality, but a miracle, a different direction for our lives than we ever imagined, and proof that His ways are higher than ours. He has always been faiithful. It makes my heart hurt.

The first few weeks of my pregnancy were very introspective for me. Almost like God was drawing me to him- in solitude. I cant explain it... I didnt really want to discuss it, or plan, read or think- it was so private and personal. And of course this wasnt in MY plans, or in MY timeline - which was the greatest lesson of all.

So, we told our families at Christmas. We had a mini covert operation and snuck into Jasons clinic (it was 11:30 pm) where he attempted to do the doppler ultrasound to see if we could see ANYTHING that resembled a baby. And, props to my hub, we did see the Chamber at a stunning 6 weeks. He's good like that.
So we got in to see the "real doctor" the 22nd of December, which is when we heard the heartbeat and saw the baby.

We told our families at Christmas. We told Jason's parents with a Calendar, with random pictures of family and us, - and the month of August we wrote about expecting baby goolsby. They were shocked of course..
Then we told my parents/fam the night before Christmas eve. Jason got me a GREAT new camera for Christmas and we "pretended" like we wanted to take a family picture. Of course they were totally against it..."they looked horrible" and "why cant we do it tomorrow".. so after nothing short of force they came together for a picture and we took a few funny ones, and then Jason said "Let's do a serious one.... 1, 2..." and I yelled " We're having a baby!" Jason started snapping and we have their expressions and reactions in the pictures. It was really fun.

So now as I begin to regain my energy (this is the longest post I have ever had and I didnt pass out or even quit in the middle of it) and start liking food again... (I havent gotten sick, just nauseous and a ton of food aversions) I am looking for your advice, your solutions... what to do during this waiting time of clothes not fitting right, but not in maternity, what websites did you enjoy, ... etc. So email me, post here or call ... I need HELP.

Thanks for all of your post, comments, cards and calls. We appreciate you loving us. ALL of us. :)

These are my family pictures of when we told...